Second Dream, Nothing Good
by kidamaroo
Summary: The monsters, now in high school, go to their prom. Absolutely NOTHING goes to plan (based on a dream I had about the Seven Little Monsters)


Prom night at Maplewick High School could either be considered the most magical night of your life or the worst exercise of frustration you will ever experience. For most students, it was the former, but for Elizabeth Ives; it was the latter. The school turned her away from the event over a "grooming infraction" (the _Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy_ football jersey she used as a cover up for her overly revealing prom dress had a pizza stain on it).

"Grooming infraction my ass" said One, "you couldn't even _see_ the pizza stain."

"Hey, at least your date made an effort to show up." Two whined, "mine just stood me up."

Even though their dates ultimately didn't go to prom with them, they didn't really miss much. This year, the school divided prom into two separate sections. The "Wild Side", for people with dates; and the "Mild Side", for people without. The Mild Side had all the midway games, arcade machines, and the pool table. All the Wild Side had was a cheesy photo booth with a cardboard cutout of St. Basil's cathedral with a banner that read "happily ever after", the dance floor (of course), and a DJ playing songs like Tammy Wynette's "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" (and not the original, either, but a cover sung by someone who _clearly_ couldn't spell "divorce"), Kenny Rogers' "Lucille", and Reba McEntire's "Consider Me Gone". The only thing that was on the Wild Side that even compared to the stuff on the Mild Side was a Pac-Man machine, and even then, it had a big sign that said "out of order."

As the evening wore on, the monsters went off and did their own thing. One played a game of pool with Heather and Cathy, while Two tried his hand at the penny arcade machine. He usually didn't care much for those things, but he wanted to try something out. Four told him that if you stick the end of your tie in the bill receptacle and pull it out, the machine would give you a free turn. When he first heard it, he just thought Four was full of baloney. Yet, every so often, he had flashes of thoughts about it actually working. And tonight, he had a chance to test it.

Good news. The bill receptacle on the arcade machine accepted the tie. Bad news. It didn't let the tie go.

"You know," Heather said to One, "I'm surprised they let you in and not Elizabeth."

"What do you mean?" One asked.

"Usually, if two girls come to prom as a couple and one of them gets turned away, it's usually the less gender conforming girl."

To Heather, it definitely seemed unusual that Elizabeth was turned away and One was not. Elizabeth wore a very feminine outfit, while One just wore teal sweatpants underneath a brown sundress. She didn't even bother with makeup. And yet, despite all that, she still managed to look better than half of the girls there. In fact, it was a good thing that Six wasn't there, otherwise; Heather would've gotten an earful about how her half skintight, half shapeless lime green dress looked like it had a stroke.

While Elizabeth getting turned away less than zero sense to Heather, something about it made perfect sense to Cathy and One. There was an interesting reason that Heather hadn't considered (and it went far beyond Elizabeth's alleged grooming infraction): _fingerprints_. Because Elizabeth brought her prom tickets online, she didn't scan her fingerprints at the time she purchased them, thus her fingerprints did not show up in the database.

One tried to explain the real reason they sent Elizabeth home, but before she could say anything; someone threw a paper airplane in her direction and it got stuck in her ponytail. She took the paper plane out of her ponytail and unfolded it. It had a note on the underside of the paper. It read, "Why don't you play the ping-pong ball toss?"

Mr. Nern, the stats teacher who looked and sounded suspiciously like Eddie Murphy, staffed the ping-pong ball toss game. Even though he said, "winner every time", the ping-pong ball toss was one of the hardest games to win. You had to throw a ping-pong ball into a tiny little bowl. Some would even say it was impossible.

"OK, we got a little lady," said Mr. Nern as he handed some yellow ping-pong balls to Ruchi, "a little man" he said as he handed blue ping-pong balls to Chirag, "and, whoo, here we have a big lady." he said as he handed some red ping-pong balls to One.

Then, the time came. The time for the ping-pong ball tossers to take their positions. "All right," declared Mr. Nern, "everybody hold it until I say _go_."

Chirag and Ruchi seemed to be telepathically arguing with each other. One just tried to concentrate on where to throw the ball.

"Go!"

The three of them threw the ping-pong balls, but only One ended up winning the game. The prize: a stuffed turtle with green flippers, little beady blue eyes, and an iridescent hunter green shell.

A minor argument ensued afterwards. "Hold on a second, Mr. Nern," Chirag whined, "How can she aim better when her hands are bigger?"

Ruchi rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid, Chirag" she retorted, "people with big hands can't throw things. It's just math!"

One didn't say anything in response. She just walked away from Chirag and Ruchi's confusing argument, shaking her head.

As she left the ping-pong ball toss game, she noticed something far more important: Two's tie caught in the penny arcade machine.

One sprinted over to the penny arcade machine, untied Two's tie, and the two of them watched as the arcade machine slurped up the tie. "What the hell made you think that was a good idea?!"

Two stood there, looking very guilty. He didn't want to say that he heard it from Four. Eventually, he just broke down and said it. "I, uh, heard it from Four." He looked down at the ground. "He said that if you stuck your tie in the end of the bill acceptor and pulled it out, the machine would give you a free turn."

One facepalmed. "Two, that has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. All it'll do is eat the tie"

"But," Two said, disappointed, "Four told me it'd work…"

"Two, almost all of Four's ideas incredibly stupid" a somewhat exasperated One replied, "you should know that by now."

They walked away from the arcade machine (which now contained Two's tie). As they left, she turned her attention back to the stuffed turtle that she won at the ping-pong ball toss. It was awfully heavy for a plush toy, almost like it had something hidden inside it.

It probably did, but she never found out what it was. She heard screams coming from a mail bag that lay in the centre of the room. Weirdly enough, nobody noticed it before.

"The terra-cotta soldiers are coming! The terra-cotta soldiers are coming!"

The screams came from a girl with short, sandy blonde hair, a birthmark that could only be described as, um, _Freudian_, and a Chinese character tattoo on her wrist that translated to either "courage" or "soup". She wore dark gray basketball shorts, brown sandals, and a white T-shirt with red, black, and green, icons on it with black text that read: "departure to a new world – we are all fuzzy robots!" She bolted out of the bag, scampered toward and later hid under the pool table.

One walked over to the pool table as quietly and calmly as she could. She really didn't want to frighten her further. "Hey" she asked politely, "What was that all about?" She couldn't help but notice the "fuzzy robots" shirt. Even though it burned in the back of her mind, she managed to refrain from saying "So, is the shirt because you're blind or is it because you can't speak English?" Given how many things she crashed into on her way to the pool table, Fuzzy Robots was probably blind. Not completely blind, mind you, but at the _very_ least missing her glasses. "Are you OK?" she asked calmly.

Fuzzy Robots completely broke down after she said that. "No" she said before she curled up into a ball and bawled. Real ugly crying, too. She drooled. Snot dripped down her nose. She trembled like a little leaf.

Fuzzy Robots said something to One about what bothered her, but she faced the wall as she spoke.

"I'm sorry," One said, "I don't think I got that."

She turned around to look at her before speaking again. When Fuzzy Robots finally did speak, she could barely form a coherent sentence. At first, all she could do was point. Yet, just as she felt like she could get the words out, she began to gag. Audibly.

_Uh oh_.

"That didn't sound good." One said, but Fuzzy Robots probably didn't hear her. "It sounds like you're going to throw up."

Fuzzy Robots shook her head. "Nope," she said, desperately trying not to gag, "I'm not going to throw up."

One didn't believe her for a minute. "Are you sure?" she asked her.

Fuzzy Robots took a deep breath. "I'm positive. I won't throw up" she said as she dried her eyes.

One still didn't believe her, because right after she said that she wasn't going to throw up; she gagged again. _Twice_.

And then, out of nowhere, Fuzzy Robots made a beeline for the bathroom.

"Please tell me you're not going to throw up" One said, slightly annoyed.

"Worse," said Fuzzy Robots, clutching her ass, "Other end!"

Those three words alone were enough to make the crowd part like the Red Sea. "I think the fat guy with the umbrella knobbled me with some kind of laxative"

The minute she got to the bathroom, she locked herself in, and suffered a massive diarrhoea attack. "Oh, my God, it feels like monkeys are flying out of my butt!"

Everyone got the hell away from the bathroom after they heard her say that. Even people who were in line to use said bathroom ran away. The figure they would just hold it until they got home. And sadly, the tendency of crowds to scatter in the face of the implication that someone in the immediate vicinity has volcanic diarrhoea sealed Fuzzy Robots's fate. After having spent an hour and a half glued to the toilet, her body lost absurd amounts of precious, precious water. Had people not left, someone somewhere would have asked, "You've been in there for over an hour, hurry up!" She would have then demanded that they call an ambulance, and she might have survived.

But, everyone left. And she died. Alone. On the toilet. She departed to a new world, where we were all fuzzy robots.

As for the monsters themselves, they never did figure out what was inside the stuffed turtle One had won at the ping-pong ball toss. What was it? Did it have any connection to fuzzy robots's untimely demise? We may never know...


End file.
